Public Topics: Attention Deficit Disorder

ADD: A Fresh Perspective

How to focus on results, cultivate gifts, and see through stereotypes to make a difference in people's lives, when ADD or some other "invisible problem" is affecting you or someone you care about.

Robert A. Yourell, LMFT

This article is a positive approach to ADD. Whether you new to the subject or you have read the usual articles, you will find some fresh insights here. One of the most common comments I hear (including from professionals) regarding this material is, "Gee, I hadn't thought of it that way!"

This is from a presentation. If your organization would like a presentation on this or other challenge-mastery subjects, contact us here. I provide humorous, inspiring presentations. The contact center has a list of organizations I have presented to and consulted for. Your organization may qualify for a free or discounted presentation! Consultation, assessment and more is also available for individuals, employers and families.

The full presentation goes into many more things that people with or without ADD (and related invisible problems) can do to dramatically improve their lives.

The ADD diagnosis, it's symptoms and the people who have it are real lightening rods for controversey. The symptoms seem like they were designed to confuse everybody.

What Happened to the Deficit?

Take attention for example. After all, ADD does mean attention DEFICIT disorder, right? As if that explains it. Then why do a lot of people with ADD concentrate for incredibly long periods of time on projects that they are interested in? (Or some people might say obsessed with. You be the judge.) What happened to the deficit?

I know. They were just pretending to have ADD. Now the truth comes out! No, that can't explain it. Some interests and activities excite the brain enough to create the attention and focus. These same interests and activities may also match the person's personal gifts. It's kind of like the person took the right medication, because their brain is acting differently.

This isn't just an attitude. Many people with ADD struggle valiantly against themselves, working much harder at some things than most people would expect of themselves. The feeling they describe, of fighting for motivation to do certain tasks happens to match brainwave changes, as the brain sort of looses its footing, not making enough fast waves.

Actually, the person with ADD, in most cases, would do just about anything to be able to snap to as needed. That's why some ADD'rs go out of their way to get more excited, even if they don't know why they do it. They are trying to boost their performance. Unfortunately, they may be coming off as dramatic, eccentric, cocky, irreverent, or just plain irritating when they do that.

Willfulness & Faking, or Denial & Confusion?

So far, this doesn't look so good. If you focus on what you're excited about and poop out too much on other things, this looks like you're just being difficult or irresponsible. Not that you expect life to give you an A for effort alone.

With ADD, the amount of will power needed for tedium is such a contrast with the elation of doing what makes you feel with it and in control, that many people with ADD need a lot more than a to do list to master this problem. This is hard for most people who don't have ADD to understand.

On top of that, the symptoms come and go, and the limits ADD imposes are not always triggered. This means the person's performance can go up or down a great deal. This causes people to tell ADD'rs that they don't have ADD, that they're making excuses, that ADD doesn't exist, and so forth. This also explains why Add'rs who haven't looked deeply enough at their patterns keep being taken by surprise when they botch something or miss a deadline. It's like not knowing the balance of your checking account because someone else is making deposits and withdraws. You never know when you're going to bounce a check. Would you like a regular or deluxe rubber check? How about I surprise you?

That's what happens with a diagnosis that is a list of symptoms, and some of those symptoms happen some of the time, in different combinations for different people, for a condition that has causes you can only guess at, with a physiological basis that you only have hints of, and that is hidden by the person's strengths. There's a mouthfull.

ADD just isn't as easy to see as, say, dandruff. It isn't even easy to imagine as, say, a germ.

Are We Confused Enough Yet?

When we understand ADD better, it will become a number of different diagnoses with different neurological and biochemical problems. That is already beginning to happen. There are three kinds of ADD already accepted. ADD with hyperactivity, inattentive, and mixed. But that's just scratching the surface.

If the ADD'r has some other problem along for the ride, such as post traumatic stress disorder, or a specific learning disability, they can really confuse people who don't know what to look for. After all, most emotional and mental health problems cause some kind of performance and attention problems.

This is how it goes with any diagnosis that got its start based on observations and symptoms, rather than knowing what's going on physically, and (hopefully) what caused it to begin with. You could say it's a diagnosis in it's infancy unlike, say, broken bones. They had those figured out centuries ago.

What Causes ADD?

ADD symptoms are believed to come from many different causes, such as toxic exposure (as in lead exposure, or mom smoking or drinking alcohol while pregnant), head trauma, psychological trauma, and genetics. Notice I said ADD symptoms. If something causes one or more symptoms of ADD, and maybe just temporarily, it can make it harder to accept that some people have ADD, because it's confusing. I mean, everybody loses their keys once in a while right? Well, not like some people. And it isn't just keys.

But if the cause or causes lead to enough symptoms enough of the time, the person qualifies for a life-long diagnosis of ADD.

There is also the problem of ADD being made worse for periods of time by things like inadequate sleep, getting over stressed and run down, not exercising enough, or having a poor diet.

Where Do We Go from, Um, Wherever It Is that We Are?

Modern assessment and treatment for ADD (well, duh, for anything) should be practical, solution-focused, and about real needs. That means no thinking in cliches, no stereotypes, no clinging to outdated ideas. It mean thinking about results.

Everyone with ADD is unique. Remember, there are various causes and physical problems behind each case of ADD. And there are various conditions that trigger some of the symptoms. Some people with ADD respond badly to overstimulation, and suddenly are much poorer at keeping track of details, for example.

On the other hand, the more I know about ADD the more some people become obvious poster children for the diagnosis.

A Call to Healing

One thing I have noticed is that some people who have a lot of really obvious symptoms of ADD say they don't have ADD, but for some reason they tell everyone about things they do that just scream ADD.

What's that about? I think it is because they mostly do things normal people do, and often get different results than normal people get. Until they understand what's going on, it's a constant distraction and irritation, like a sunburn or mosquito bite, so they tend to comment on it. Also, it assaults the person's identity, and that is definitely distracting.

I think of that as a call to healing. Down deep, they will not be satisfied until they understand and have a better plan and deeper self-acceptance.

So the first step in identifying and treating (or handling) ADD, is to learn things that a lot of mental health professionals and teachers don't know about it. That's the first part of being solution-focused. It's open-minded curiosity, and liking facts more than convenient knee-jerk reactions. Did that sound harsh? Sorry, but I've seen bad things happen to good people--so I feel a certain sense of urgency about this.

Buried Treasure

One of the saddest things about undiagnosed ADD and the moralistic, narrow-minded thinking that some professionals engage in is the buried treasure problem.

Many people with great gifts, intellectual curiosity, creativity and humanistic vision get lost on the loser track because nobody looked for and fostered these qualities in them. The children were inattentive ADD, so it was easy to ignore their needs. Or they were hyperactive, and they were seen in terms of the trouble they caused.

We're testing for basics in schools, but who is looking for the buried treasure? What school program components foster gifts, creativity and vision? Worse, the ADD'r may not cultivate these things because their self concept has been too contaminated for them to even think of themselves as deserving such a discovery.

Pretty much everyones's favority ADD stereotypes are along the lines of Benjamine Franklin, Richard Feynman, Albert Einstein and Yogi Berra. Gifted, outgoing, unique, overcoming the odds, that sort of thing. In fact, many people have come to believe that ADD people tend to be intelligent and gifted. But those are just the more visible ones. Many people with ADD need a bridge to their potential that is not a one-person job.

Until the person with ADD learns enough about it, they may not know how to cope with other's judgments, the seemingly overwhelming number of details life throws at them, or how to cope emotionally with a life in which other people seem to be moving out ahead of them in relationships or careers. The ADD person may hit a glass ceiling in their career, and may be mystified as to why they are being left behind.

If their self esteem has been tarnished enough, they may have developed explanations that help prop them up, but these explanations may mislead them, causing them to be in denial about the nature of the problem, and less likely to get the help they need.

ADD vs. Just: You Don't Have ADD, You Just...

Other people, even teachers and mental health professionals compound this denial, because they have some ideas about ADD that are way off. It's bad enough getting the idea that you are bad, stupid and worthless, but this is "sealed in" by the reaction that you don't have ADD.

What does it mean when people say, "Oh, he just doesn't care," or "He's just a loser"? That's very different from, "He has a neurological problem that must be addressed so he can be more effective, successful and happy." The difference is mainly in the word "just." What is just? Is it a metaphysical energy that can't be fought by us mortal humans?

I don't know. Next time someone says he or she, "is just that way," ask them what "just" is. Please tell me if you ever find out. Maybe we can patent it. It could be a source of free energy, or maybe a portal into another dimension.

The final piece of the "you don't have ADD" conspiracy is this matter of inconsistent performance, and various types of intelligence. Intelligence is not just one thing. Otherwise, we would all be just smart, just not real bright or just somewhere in between. But you know that is not usually the case, because most people have gifts, and maybe things they are really ungifted at, regardless of how much they practice or try.

ADD is like that, but people with ADD who happen to be very articulate, or have a good mind for facts, or have some other gifts, mislead themselves and others, but not on purpose. It's just that it's hard to see someone acting intelligent, and then see them bungle basic details, and not think that they are sabotaging the situation, or that they just don't care. It's mostly because the difference seems out of proportion and unexpected.

If they don't care, then why is it that when the need happens to fit their strengths, they do what needs to be done? Why is it that when they take medication, they begin doing more of what they didn't care about?

Does the pill make them care? No. It gives them a better ability to organize, in part because they have better short-term memory (like the memory in a computer that temporarily holds information without taking time to save it).

Recovery: Can we Get There from Here?

But remember, I'm talking about people with ADD who have not gotten clear on what's going on. Like recovery for an alcoholic, there are understandings, practices, and adaptations that take time to master. What should we call this recovery-like process when it applies to ADD? How about recovery?

The more the person with ADD knows about it, the better able they are to know what they can and can't promise, and to know how to communicate to people that have expectations of them. Unfortunately, the ADD person's way of experiencing the world, and the way others experience the person with ADD, both conspire to make these realizations difficult.

Instead, the ADD person struggles more, tries harder, becomes anxious, and takes on more things that might prove them worthy. Anxiety alone takes away from the scope of the ADD brain, as it does most peoples. The person with ADD can least afford to be working at tasks that call upon their weaknesses, while anxious, while doing too much, while trying to fix mistakes they have made, and struggling to think ahead to cover details that are seem endless, and, um, did I leave anything out?

Within all these impossible-sounding dynamics and challenges, the solutions are hidden. But the improvements and peace of mind that comes from finding these solutions is tremendous.

Where Do We Go from Here? Four Steps

Step one is to see past the miscues and preconceptions, to have a good understanding of ADD.

Step two is to develop a recovery perspective so that the plan will be relevant, development will be unblocked, and gifts will be unlocked. Never forget that it is a challenge for most people to have their world shaken up by a diagnosis, and to really grasp a recovery perspective.

Step three is to put the right resources in place. This can mean changes to the approach at school, medication, counseling or coaching, training or consulting with the family or employer, getting on a different career track, and so forth. One of the biggest challenges is for the person with ADD to maintain their inner dignity while dealing with people that stand in their way out of ignorance or judgmentality.

Step four is to evaluate and modify the plan and resources as you go. Perhaps the biggest challenge is to accept that early problems with the plan to not mean failure, and that the changes are long term, with several chapters.

Motivation is at the heart of all this. Keeping things pointed in a positive direction with a sincere, results-based attitude is essential. This means the person with ADD as well. How well are we cultivating their motivation, identity and sense of direction?

ADD Resources at Yourell.com provides links to many more articles, organizations, research sources and more. It includes resources in Colorado as well.